Sunday, May 14, 2006

Jack Bauer's Grandmother, Jack Bauer's Surprisingly Asian Grandfather, & Sick Child Rape

  • Jack Bauer's Grandmother:
  • A 74 year old woman was attacked by an alligator while gardening. She beats the alligator in the face with a garden hose until it lets her go, then she resumes gardening. Note to self: don't attack old ladies while pruning roses.
  • My Summer Plans:
  • Camp Cobra is much cooler than that other camp. My mom was concerned that I would get shot, but I politely informed her that no one has ever been shot in the history of GI Joe. Ever.
  • couldn't be...really?
  • What appears to be actual deleted footage from Episode IV. The reason it got cut? Because it scientifically confirms that Luke is, in fact, a gay. True story. Not that there's anything wrong with that, Luke. What you want to do when you go to "Taachi" to get some "power converters" is your own business.
  • There's a "who let the dogs out" joke in here somewhere:
  • = some asshole has actually made a radio station exclusively for dogs. WTF, mate?
  • Jack Bauer's surprisingly asian grandfather:
  • want me to shoot arrows at you with this bow, and you're gonna chop the arrows in half in mid-air before they hit you? Okay, I'm in.
  • Sick, sick, sick CHILD RAPE
  • That's how we end it here...with sick child rape. Not that there's anything wrong with that...oh wait, that's really wrong...really f$*kin' sick...ugghhhhh...
    (courtesy of Jesse Woo)


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